drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
