Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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