we have pet lesbian snakes
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
