I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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