Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
