i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize