how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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