you would pick up someone in the library
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
