Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
