Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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