Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
