chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
