There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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