Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just had sex bonerless
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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