It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
