I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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