He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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