Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
