I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
