Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
