Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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