you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
a search helicopter?!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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