Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
