Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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