apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
