I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize