Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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