I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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