my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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