Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
