margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to make a zoo with you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
