Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
