Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
