lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize