Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
