Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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