'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize