You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
