weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
