At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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