White coat. Heels.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
