I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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