Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
