Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
