She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
