What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We need to rekindle our bromance
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
