Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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