I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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