i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
