do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
