Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
