im holly from the hills drunk
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
