When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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