I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
