my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
