they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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