I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
