She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
