i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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