I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
