Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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