If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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