I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
