I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
