Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
